Rains-1st chapter

Heavy rains, muddy streets..and blurred vision was i all could experience. "These stupid car drivers can never drive properly..", I was blabbering all the way..frustated and totally damp. Just then an Audi splashed all the water in the nearby puddle. "gosh!! bloody idiot...dekh ke nahi chala sakta kya??" i shouted after  him. While crossing the street a guy near me pulled my hair with the iron wire of his umbrella. i was about to shout at him when i saw his face. Deep brown eyes, dusky complexion, a sweet smile, and a well built body...a dish served, just as i like it! "i am really sorry!", he said in a deep,manly voice. "oh!its ok..its fine..", I said in a rushy voice with a warm smile. "hey..do i know you?, are you Anubhav's friend from hindu?", best way to start a convo, at-least you can get the name and if lucky, even the college's name.

 "no, i am not from delhi..i just got placed here in Wipro."-he said.

 "oh..so you are new here..what was your name?" -I said,

"Avinash Kundra from varanasi.."-he said with the same sweet smile.

"i am..."BEEP BEEP..!!!

Oh shit! we were chatting while standing on the street! "ARREE MARNA HAI KYA!", shouted the auto driver. we got off the road and then waved each other goodbye. i wish we meet again..I think, i like the rains!

Bada Yaad Ata Hai....

Teri galiyon me befikr ho ke ghumna,
bada yaad ata hai,
Darwaze ke piche se, tujhe chupke se niharna,
bada yaad ata hai,
Jab bhi teri yaad aaye, maa ke god me, kisi bahane se sar rakh ke rona,
bada yaad ata hai,
Teri awaz sun ke, woh neende ud jana,
bada yaad ata hai,
Baarish ki boondo mein teri chuan ko talshna,
adat si ban gayi thi,
Woh bheege hue gaalon pe aanson girana,
bada yaad ata hai,
Teri muskurahat pe duniya bhulana,
bada yaad ata hai,
Teri kadmon ki aahat sun,
dil hi dil me jhoom jana,
bada yaad ata hai,
Teri baahon ke ghere me,ji bhar ke rona,
bada yaad ata hai,
Teri ek jhalak dekh kr, pure din muskurana,
bada yaad ata hai,
Tere seene me apna chehra chhupana,
bada yaad ata hai,
Sach kehti hun,
tu mujhe bada yaad ata hai....

The Last Meeting-XI

After a week, he finally talked to her,Sanna took a relaxing breath. He asked her to come for shopping and she agreed instantly. There in the mall was a coffee shop where Sanna and Rihan used to meet in college times, Ali took her to the same place. After reaching, Ali started searching for someone and after five minutes, he smiled and nodded to in the same direction. Then, he gently took her hand and moved towards a table which was preoccupied by a pregnant woman and....Rihan.

They were shocked to see each other,Sanna looked at her husband’s face and try to find out an answer to the question that was continously banging in her mind, what is happening. But it was futile as his face showed no change of expressions. Rihan was looking at Shagufa for an explanation but in return he recieved a warm reassuring smile. Shagufa cleared her throat to say something and break the uncomfortable silence, “hello Sanna and Ali.. he is my husband Rihan and I am Shagufa..please have a seat..” there was silence again so she said again “you must be thinking that why we have brought you two here...Rihan, I read the letter that you wrote for Sanna three years ago,which you never posted, and I posted it to her...look, there was a lot of misunderstanding between you two for a long time, unsolved problems were not only affecting you but us too, she said gesturing towards Ali and herself. "After receiving that letter I was very upset that you didn’t even bother to tell me, such a big part of your life, I tried my level best to make this marriage work but I always knew that there was a problem, and when I came to know all this, I just wanted to fix that problem that was keeping you from loving me the way you should. If you still love him you can leave me whenever you want, both of us are ready for it...but this half happy and half sad life is making everything complicated...look Sanna I really love you and I will respect every decision you make..but unless you untangle the threads of the past...no one can move forward" said Ali, with warmth in his voice. Shagufa looked at Rihan with a smiling face and said “Jaanu, you know how much I hate unfinished stories..please complete this on for me.”

That day Rihan and Sanna talked for hours and realized their mistakes. It was as if someone had removed a boulder from their chests. They also realized, that what they had in their lives was the most precious gift that life could give them...understanding, supporting and  loving life partners. They became best friends and their married lives took a new turn to the road of trust and happiness.What else could they ask from life...the  deal was fairly done.

                                                                                                                           -Niharika Singh

The Last Meeting-X

Three years later,

Shagufa was moving towards the store room, for cleaning the thick layer of dust that had settled on every item, as that room was not even touched for months.

Rihan had been a very caring person all these years, but still, watching two children playing football, brought waves of never forgotten memories. Settling a house just after a storm requires courage and patience which has to be developed to survive. Thankfully the incident at the card gallery was never discussed again.

 It was getting difficult to work with a 6 month pregnant belly but leaving the work of cleaning on Rihan was even more risky, either he will damage goods or himself. Several cartons were kept on the racks first one contained magazines, another contained broken glassware and another at the back of the shelf contained photographs and a letter. While unfolding the letter, she hesitated a little but curiosity overpowered all other feelings and the letter was opened after peeping that nobody was watching.
She was shocked to read that letter, its not that she had no idea about it, but this situation was far more complex than what she had imagined. Khala jaan was calling her from kitcken to prepare the curry,so she kept the letter in her purse and went to the kitchen.

Shagufa was the quietest at the dinner that night, which was pretty bewildering for everybody. That uneasy feeling was making her nauseous, now she understood, what had happened at the card gallery.  After a long thinking process, she came up with a solution. That night she searched for Sanna’s address in the directory and the next day...posted that letter.

The letter reached on the Khan’s address and received by nobody but Mr.Ali Khan. His feelings raced from confusion to tension and finally to eagerness because this truth was left unspoken for three years. He showed the letter to Sanna and asked for an explanation. Sanna took the letter and after reading it her mouth went dry. Tears flooded and so did memories, guilt and anxiousness. She was regretting that why didn’t she listen to his explanation even once but right now a bigger problem was peeping through the window...ALI...she owed him an explanation. After wiping her tears, she told him what she had been avoiding to tell for three years. She told him the whole story, looking at the floor and wiping the tears away from the back of her hand. When she looked up, he was gone. She was so shocked, that she started crying uncontrollably, she could see her three years long marriage was on the verge of crumbling down. He wasn’t talking to her and even after so many pleads, he didnt move.

The Last Meeting-IX

The next evening, he prayed to god and went to Sanna’s house to deliver that letter. All the way, he was thinking of how would she react. He knew she was understanding so there was still hope for a new beginning. It was a chilling February evening and winter flowers had bloomed in every park and house that was visible. All this while his heart thought of all possible reactions that he would receive and also thought of many ways of disclosing the truth of his relationship to Shagufa and his father and his own father..“Oh god!!How many people do i have to answer but no problem, if she is with me then i can do anything” he had thought. One good thing that happens after you lose someone, is that you realize the importance of that person and also the worth of that relationship and if you get a chance to mend the cracks that you have created then that relationship can reach a whole new level of trust, love and understanding, but not everybody is lucky enough to get that second chance. From the rear end of the road Sanna’s house could be seen decorated in orchids and marigold. Rihan was bewildered but didn’t have a clue of what was going on in there. His  pace increased and so did his curiosity, sounds of claps were making him even more nervous and just as he reached her house, he saw Sanna slipping the diamond ring in Ali’s finger. As Rihan saw this happening, time stopped and he remembered Sanna’s 23^rd birthday in which he had gifted a ring which she never took out. That ring was missing today, and so was all his hope. He left her house with the letter in his back pocket and eyes, misty with the heartbreak, surely it was too late.Tears refused to flow that night. He spent all night staring blankly at the ceiling, not even knowing what to think. He regretted all the fights which went unsolved, all the sorry and i love you that went unsaid, dry eyes, opened widely staring at nothing but darkness.

The Last Meeting-VIII

That night, sleep eluded both of them. The whole night was spent in turning to different sides. All the while, forbidden memories of painful past swept through their minds like unwelcomed guests. All the ‘first times’ flashed through their minds. The first time their eyes met, the first time they held hands, the first time they said ‘I love you’ and yes...their first kiss. But most of all, the morning incident. Both of them could see the emptiness in each others eyes. Sanna was filled with rage to see them together and one can understand what sort of thoughts would have crossed her mind at that time. Though she was very understanding girl but sometimes even the most understanding ones also need a good explanation to understand. Rihan too was bewildered about what to do and what not to do. His heart said to run to Sanna that very instant and tell her everything but his mind said...after so much has happened there was little hope that she understand because somewhere or the other, he was the one who lacked on the communication front. But what could have he done when all this was happening..he couldn’t change the course of events, he himself was victim of the situations. With puffy eyes both expected the next morning to bring a new hope and saw the sun rise from the horizon tearing the dark sky with streaks of golden light.

The next morning everything in Sanna’s house seemed different. Everyone was running in different directions, chaos was the only word that could define the whole scenario. She was unaware of the fact that her engagement was set the very next day and even after she came to know it, it didn’t make much difference to her, actually,  now nothing made a difference anymore. Rihan was in a perplexing mixture of emotions. He tried to call her but couldn’t gather the courage to speak, besides Shagufa was eyeing him with suspicion so he was trying to avoid every single question that she was attempting to ask. The whole day passed in thinking a way out of this misunderstanding but mind refused to work and heart refused to relax. At night, finally he settled on the most comfortable form of confession...a letter. That night all his problems, adverse situations, forced decisions, and all the apologies that should have made long time ago, found their place on a piece of paper, also her favourite perfume was sprayed on it, just to make sure that the apologies were accepted.

The Last Meeting-VII

Standing near the cards rack,Sanna could see Rihan, helping the girl out in choosing the card.Whenever  their hands touched, he withdrew his hand,avoiding every touch...and after sometime he turned around and finally saw Sanna looking at them.

Without thinking and within a second, a broad smile crept through his face, it was as if a very thirsty person had a sight of an oasis...while smiling stupidly he realized that Sanna had no change of expressions  and someone was tugging his shirt, asking.."jaanu, do you know her?.."

Just then reality dawned on him but he couldn't refrain himself from meeting her.so, he started walking towards her while Shagufa was following him like a child.

"Hi!!how are you?" Rihan said in a hesitant voice."I am fine,won't you introduce us?"said Sanna in the strictest tone possible."Oh!she is my..fiance and she is my...uh...college friend"Sanna had watery eyes after hearing all this."HI!!its so nice to meet you..we are selecting valentine cards for each other...but Rihan is so unromantic,he doesn't like any card...Oh!!would you like to join us for a coffee?"

"No thanks I am a little busy,maybe sometime else..nice meeting you too...and all the best for your marriage.."

Sanna tried to keep as calm as possible but as soon as she came out of the card gallery,she was crying silently while continously wiping the tears away.

Here in the gallery, Shagufa had sensed that something was definitely wrong....the way Rihan was looking at Sanna, it was obvious that there was something which was still unknown to her yet...raising suspicions and undecipherable expressions were exasperating her..The way she was looking at him, Rihan knew that he owed her an explanation..But what will he exactly tell her, will she understand?

When Sanna returned home.she observed that the living room was occupied with more people than usual, few new faces could also be seen. Sanna's mother called her aside and handed her a tray of mango juice.After serving.she was made to sit in the only vacant place which was near an unknown man.He had a pleasant smiling face and seemed very calm,his name was Ali.

After the formal introductions, they were forced to ask questions to each other which was very uncomfortable for both of them.Ali had a husky and bold voice but it was pleasant to hear.He asked few questions about her college etc...After an hour of chit-chat the family finally dispersed, greeting farewell more sweetly than required.

Sanna was too preoccupied to notice anything. All this while,flashback of the morning incident were haunting her and she was blankly staring at the carpet.After the departure, the discussion started, Sanna was asked the same question again and again from every family member.."Do you like him?" and every time she nodded her head,silently staring at her hands...

To be continued....

I Will Tiptoe Away

You came in my life with a smile.The smile which was deprived of happiness and full of innocence. I remember those eyes with sorrow and pain and a hint of moisture.
Time heals all wounds..sometimes your dear ones help you through that time,but what can one do if you just push them away?
You want to be in your own little bubble of emotions...so hurt,that every time someone wants to get close,you step backwards.
I just wanted to keep a hand on your shoulder and say.."its OK, I am there for you", wanted to wipe your tears away,wanted to hold your hand your hand in the crowd of the world and say"You are not alone",but I cant find a door in the walls,that you have build around yourself, not even a single keyhole to peep through.Your eyes showed all the deep dark secrets of the past which made you this way...I never required to ask anything because I could already see through you.
I just wanted to be a pal...nothing else,but what can be done if you turn your head away and look to the other side, whenever I try to look in your eyes.I wish things could be better..never wanted to increase your pain instead wanted to be the pain reliever, never wanted to toy with your emotions, and certainly didn't want to worsen your situations.
So,I am moving away,silently,leaving you in your own bubble, from which, once wanted to pull you out.
You are clutching the past so tightly, just like a child clutching the hem of the dress of his mother, who is so scared to see so many people around, laughing, chatting, holding hands...those big eyes filled with tears, displaying naivety, innocence, and most of all...fear of loosing someone.
You don't have to be the this way. Be strong, learn to love again, its not that difficult..I will always pray for your happiness.
I wish i could break all the chains that hold you back, wish I could bring that happy smile back..I just wanted to see the old YOU. Wish I was strong enough to hold you together whenever you broke down...So, I am tiptoeing away from your life.

The Last Meeting-VI

In New York,
Rihan's dad saw his son traumatized by the loss of his mother,running around all day for medications and taking care of everything.He didn't even remember when did he smile for the last time.
In India,
shagufa was Kalim uncle's daughter(a very good friend of Rihan's father) and a very good friend of Rihan.
So,the first thing his dad did after returning to India was to talk to his friend about getting the two children getting engaged,he thought that it was the best way to bring back the lost happiness into the family and also in Rihan's life.The dates were set and the engagement was planned on Rihan's birthday,as a surprise.Due to the presence of so many people in the house Rihan could not explain anything on that day and had to get engaged out of his will.
After all this he talked to  his elder brother about Sanna,thinking that some advise and help might work out.But his advise was to forget the girl to whom he hadn't talked to for 6 months,and start looking forward to his future and happiness of his family...and  moreover it was good that their father had been keeping busy and happy which had improved his medical reports too,this conversation didn't leave Rihan with many of options.
His fiance was a hyperactive bomb of playfulness and immaturity.It was February 14th and she wanted to go to the Archies gallery to buy a card for Rihan..she also dragged him to buy a card for her.....
Sanna had come there to buy an anniversary card for her parents with a friend.She saw Rihan selecting Valentine card and a girl beside him was tugging his shirt,calling "jaanu....how,s this one???"...
to be continued....

The Last Meeting-V

Rihan's Tragedy...
The world around him came crashing by when he came to know about his parent's car accident....
He went rushing to the government hospitals where the local people had admitted them.He was familiarized with the fact that his mother had suffered a major head injury,had lost lots of blood and had died on the spot and his father's legs had suffered various fractures,had a broken clavicle,femur and spinal cord,and had suffered a huge blood loss.They were immediately shifted to the town's biggest hospital but he had already lost his mother and his father was left crippled...doctors said that he will have to spend his entire his life on a wheelchair..
This event had left Rihan shattered.He wanted to talk to Sanna but,they had to rush for his fathers treatment to New York...
It took six months for him to recover and till then he hadn't even talked to Sanna once...
After six long months,they returned to India.due to such serious injuries,his father could no longer look after their family business so Rihan had to take over the responsibility due to which he had to leave his college.Time flew but he couldn't forget Sanna. He tried to contact her but she was so heartbroken that she refused to even talk to him.He started repenting every second that was wasted in fight,he wished he could just get another chance and mend it all.The question was...will they ever meet again?will he ever get a chance to explain his reasons for leaving her? and will they ever get back together?

The Last Meeting-IV

Sanna was crying uncontrollably on Reena's lap...after so much of consoling,she finally started to relax a little and welcomed a glass of water instantly...with trembling lips she started unfolding the hidden truth....two years ago,when they started their relationship,everything felt like blooming flowers and  rising sun.But as the time passed,different sorts of problems started rooting.First of the  problems was lack of communication and long distance.due to studies and upcoming back-to-back family problems in Rihan's family.He had a really big family with loads of brothers  and sisters(mostly cousins)...different sorts of problems kept coming up which kept him occupied most of time...different sorts of feelings kept accumulating inside their hearts which went unspoken and when they talked...fought with all their  might,when their voices softened,time ran out.Unfinished arguments left deep scars in their hearts .Sanna had a problem with her habits...she couldn't speak out her feelings freely and Rihan had a problem of late realization and short temperament Even when they met,due to some or the other problems,they couldn't sort things out.Unspoken words and pangs of pain ran through their hearts whenever they thought of each other...Crying was not the solution of all problems...but they couldn't find any other way to lighten their hearts...

Suddenly their fight became a regular event and one fine day..Rihan stopped calling her and also changed his phone number.

She still couldn't find out why???

The Last Meeting-III

First day of college after vacations,Everybody was so exited about the new events  and  cultural programs that were about to happen in the coming days...Everybody seemed so happy,everybody was smiling..well, Sanna  too but there's a difference..its a fake one. Reena and Disha came running towards Sanna. They were best friends since their first grade but had totally different natures.Right after seeing Sanna, they could make out that something was wrong but they were so exited about their first day,that they totally forgot to ask anything.
Soon,after their meeting,their electronics class started. Madhav sir was considered to be the most interesting teacher of Electronics Dept.partially because he was very good at what he did and partially because he was the only good looking and young teacher an the whole lot.The class started with everybody's introduction and afterwards,revision of fundamental electronics.That one hour flew with tine and the bell rang.Soon those three friends got the time to discuss their holidays and the untold secrets.It was then they started asking Sanna if something was wrong...firstly she refused but after much pressure here tears started flowing with no boundaries. Reena immediately knew what was wrong,while Disha took a litttle time and few elbow blows from Reena to understand.College was not the right place to discuss these things so they decided to stay overnight at Sanna's place.They had  reshmi kebab and veg biryani for dinner..they were Sanna's mother's specialty.After going to bed,Disha started bombarding different sorts of questions at Sanna,only after several elbow blows,her tongue started to relax a little. Reena asked Sanna just 1 question,"what happened exactly?"....

The Last Meeting-II

Every new morning brings new hopes.And after so much of heartache and crying last night after the breakup,this was the only thought that was soothing sanna's emotion sensitive nature today.Any memory or thing related to Rihan was making her eyes damp.The couch on which they sat,the show they once watched together,even his favourite dish which her mom had made unknowingly made her mind fill with past memories of their time spend together.
She always wanted a fairy tale relationship.Love,winning over all demons,living a life with his prince charming and always hoping for a happy ever after life.it was like living a dream allover.But in all this she forgot that life is a lot different from Repunzel,Snow White and Barbie.People have needs and expectations that one has to fulfill to sustain a relationship.
Today while gazing out of the glass window of her  bedroom,an unwelcome memory crept in her mind.The window looked over a vast grass field just opposite to her house.It was in 10th grade that Rihan had taught her the football tricks that helped her win a great match. Every time she committed a mistake,he gave a blow on her head,he was a tough teacher.She smiled at that memory and again started miss the gone moments ,crying softly against the cushion.She didn't come out of the house for 2 days.This behaviour was making her parents and friends worried.She belonged to an educated Musalman family but no one at her home was so close with whom she could look back for emotional support,and very few close friends knew about her relationship.She wasn't ready to share anything with anybody,all she wanted was Rihan...While retiurning to bed she knew that she had to return to college the day after, and so many thoughts haunted her while thinking of college, that how would she face her friends?, and most important of all,how will she face Rihan?

The Last Meeting-I

How do you feel after leaving someone so dear after such a long relationship???
unhappy?sad?or DEVASTATED?
specially if you know that it was your fault ....WORSE..isn't it?
after so many years of coping up to Rihan's controlling and mercurial nature,finally Sanna came to face the truth,that it is not her cup of tea to manage such mood swings,but it was not his fault entirely...
making silly mistakes and not realizing it until its been pointed out was one of her many shortcomings.
Sanna was not so beautiful creature on the face of earth that one could keep gazing at or one could write poems on....but definetely had a very innocent face with a small black mole just above the lips on the right hand side,which was often referred as as the only beautiful spot on her face.while Rihan had a muscular body with all the man-in-power looks...he had dusky complexion and a handsome face and was often complemented for his good dressing sense.
While studying together for many years in the same school,they became friends and eventually fell in love with each other an their last year. Inspite of staying so close for so many years as friends, they never had much time to interact because of studies,but after coming into a relationship,they started to interact quite well  and understood each others shortcomings.after spending two long years of relationship,they started facing diffrences and fights grew...
Its difficult to say that whose fault was it when they were arguing on a topic,because each one had a good memory and both knew how to keep their points.
But a boat with a hole doesn't have good chances of floating for a long time...

emotions

emotions are an important part of one's personality..

the way we react to the situations,the way we handle certain matters,clearly describe our personality and mentality.

if we sway away with them...the result may be of two types,constructive or destructive..

constructive if we start to analyse our emotions and channelize it in positive way,and destructive if we lose control over it and start acting without thinking.

so,we should always try to channelize emotions in a positive way as it develops our mentality and increases the conscience level.